Not all biscuits truly sate your appetite like these beefy boys do. As seen with the controversial Chocolate Hobnob, Chocolate Digestives reclaim all that plain Digestives lack. You feel satisfied after a Jammie Dodger. The following list has been years in the making. Surprisingly Rich Tea biscuits are the ultimate God Tier snack, collecting 48% of positive sentiment across social media. Yes, absolutely. This item: McVitie's Rich Tea Biscuits, 300 Gram (Pack of 6) $24.99 ($2.36 / 1 Ounce) Both Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough and Phish Food ice cream are in the Crumby Tier with 11% positive sentiment, coming last out of the bed snacks. They've never hurt anyone, never asked for much acclaim. Dip them in tea, eat them dry, do whatever the hell you want. From Hobnobs to Custard Creams and the playful Jammy Dodger, biscuits are a beloved treat, enhancing any afternoon tea… They're slightly less awful because the actual biscuit is a soft shortbread drenched in sugar, which helps to mask the healthy addition of currants somewhat. Forever known to cause uproar between workplace colleagues, friends and family on what chocolate, biscuits or crisps should be in the ultimate God Tier ranking. They're setting us up for a loss from the outset. It is the largest biscuit factory in Europe, where 550 employees currently work. Jam 'n Cream cookies consist of a sugary layer of cream sandwiched between two shortbread cookies. Digestives are like Mia Thermopolis in The Princess Diaries before she gets a makeover to become the Princess of Genovia. A little salty with a hint of sweet, these Rich Tea Biscuits are the perfect cake to serve with afternoon tea or as an after-dinner dessert. Everyone's life is broken into two distinct halves: The time before you learn that Nice biscuits are coconut flavoured, and the time after. Get a Chocolate Round in your gullet at any cost. A digestive biscuit will always be there, should you need it, but ideally you're never going to be in a position where that's a top priority. Not yet. Jammie Dodgers have been deprived of acclaim for far too long. © 2020 Pocket Guides Ltd. All rights reserved. Many drafts have been scrapped and biscuits re-tasted. Dip it in tea and suck the melting chocolate until the shortbread lies naked underneath. Not even giving rise to the biscuit/cake divide here because it's the most boring discussion since the great sparkling water debate of 2013 which we have all blanked from our memories. Basically everything terrific that regular Chocolate Fingers combine, except they're made with white chocolate. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, all of these mealtimes can be improved with chocolate. White Chocolate Fingers would've voted for Obama to do a third term if they could. Their mediocrity festered for so long, then they caved and took them from a 2 to a 10. It's smooth, crunchy and slightly doughy which works well with the fig filling. It is bliss. But are they mesmerising? Nobody in the history of humanity has ever just had one Bourbon Cream. Although Fig Rolls are inexplicably better than Garibaldis and Fruit Shortcakes, they're still not terrific. The standard British chocolate chip cookie is a bit lacklustre. Thank you for your time. If Rich Tea biscuits were so great, why would they have needed to bring out a chocolate covered variety? McVitie's Fruit Shortcake. Give one to a friend. Shortcake biscuit, thick (and what I really mean is thicc) chocolate that is a quality beyond any chocolate biscuit coating you have ever tried before, it is perfection. That's the beauty of Chocolate Fingers, they are unapologetically moreish and above all else, an incredibly reliable biscuit. The flavour is perturbing. Well, you better believe it. Yeah. They are topped with… The Bourbon Creams. Oh absolutely Jesus suffering Christ yes. But they're in a list with the greats. Party Rings are delicious. Terrific, let's amp up the spice so that we can all choke every time we take a bite. Do not @ me. Here are the best snacks to have in bed. If it contains one of your five a day, it can (respectfully) get fucked. People are quick to dismiss shortbread, but where would we be without it? Personally, I haven't got a lot against Hobnobs, I think they're very solid lads. They're always too crunchy and insufficiently sized. It's a treat and it's a goddamn good one. If someone put a plate of Jaffa Cakes in front of you, are you going to eat one? Coconut. Phone a distant family member. But you decline them, you ungrateful but absolutely correct son of a bitch. Fruit, as we have learned, does not belong in a biscuit under any circumstances. To get any real sense of joy out of a Rich Tea, you need to add something to it. The packaging suggests that you're about to indulge yourself in something lavish. Asking for a friend. It's a minimum of four, or none at all. Party Rings are a wild ride. No. But a winner has prevailed, and following that, 25 other biscuits in definitive order from worst to best. Bourbon Creams come in giant packets for some reason. It's heaven. When you bite into a Garibaldi, the biscuit doesn't even produce a crunch, it just sighs heavily and bends like an elderly person picking something off the floor. I am wise to it. Leave your phone at home. World's largest brewer warns that the price of a pint is about to go up in the UK. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and with floured hands, knead until smooth, about 15 times. Possibly the fanciest biscuit on the list, these guys are pure decadence. They are biscuits, please just trust me on this one. Earl Grey and Lemon Shortbread. Also, we as a society need to downright refuse to consume a biscuit that is nickname for a hairless man named Gary. A solid halfway placement for the pacesetter of the biscuit world. They combine chocolate with some sort of dough, ergo, they are not bad. Custard Creams don't ask for much. However, its sophisticated linage goes much deeper and … Credit where it's due, a Viennese is a delicious biscuit. For you. December 2, 2020 It absolutely bloody well can, yes. Your Nan buys Fig Rolls. Everything feels special, as any foil-wrapped biscuit should, but then you bite into it and it's just fine. A Hobnob is, at its core, just a very condensed and dry flapjack. It’s a meme we love to see and love to hate. Homemade English Tea Biscuits Recipe Better than Store Bought If they don't have them, keep running. There’s nothing quite like indulging in one of your 5-a-day whilst relaxing in bed… right? Viscounts are a fraud and this is the hill that I am willing to die on. In America, there are countless versions of the Rich Tea biscuits. The biscuit part does the heavy lifting here. Of course they're in the top three, they're Custard bloody Creams. God bless you, Chocolate Digestives. From the packaging right down to the shortbread inside, they're a force to be reckoned with. Often forgotten in this hectic world, Tea Cakes are a vital part of modern society. Nobody knows how many are contained in the packet, could be 20, could be 1,000. NOW! It’s a classic British staple which one simply can’t enjoy a cup of tea without. A similar logic is being applied to this particular type of biscuit as has occurred with the Garibaldis above. Chocolate Digestives. GINGERY! A rich tea biscuits recipe that’s not quite crunchy and not quite soft with a unique consistency and subtle flavor that makes this rich tea … These are satisfying biscuits. But if you had to choose between a Hobnob or literally any other biscuit, the latter is going to win every single time. https://www.prima.co.uk/diet-and-health/diet-plans/g30530563/healthy- A BISCUIT WITH 'PARTY' IN ITS NAME!!! They know it, I know it, even you know it. Brits are playing it safe in the bedroom as the humble Rich Tea … If a Digestive biscuit was a person, it would be Ross Geller. Can you recognise these British biscuits? Accompanied by Kit-Kats, pistachios and apples. The cream filling is tasty, the biscuits are light as air and you can easily eat an entire packet in one sitting. A Hobnob is just a Digestive that goes to the gym. Fun … Live your goddamn life. It's a good biscuit. They're delicious. Apr 22, 2019 - Explore Rosie Young's board "Rich Tea Biscuits" on Pinterest. By Mirror. Over half of Britain thinks pineapple should be allowed on pizza and they are all extremely wrong. Today, the Rich Tea biscuits by McVities are being produced at a rhythm of 27 million per day in Harlesden, a location northwest of London. Jaffa Cakes are a confusing biscuit, they don't crunch, they don't snap and they certainly don't adapt to the conditions met with being dunked into a cup of tea. White Chocolate Fingers don't discriminate. If the cookie isn't the size of your face, slightly moist and dense AF, is it even worth eating at all? I've landed Pink Wafers just outside the top ten because I can't justify how they're so delicious despite being such a lazy attempt at a biscuit. Chocolate Fingers are unstoppable. They're always there for you, regardless of age or gender. In being a relatively thin … EVEN! According to the tiers it seems as though once you pop you can actually stop as Pringles only have a 16% positive sentiment. A spoonful of Nutella, some peanut butter, half a litre of vodka, whatever your personal taste is. IS THIS A JOKE???!!! Tweet. I'd be plagued with strangers berating my choices, questioning my morals and palate. On the first day, he created man. Paterson's Rich Shortbread and Biscuit Assortment 400g, 14 oz, European cookies, Scottish Cookies, Chocolate-covered shortbread cookies, Shortbread cookies from Scotland, Tea cookies (Pack of 1) … The boys. Chocolate Digestive. We can only imagine the number of crumbs that’ll be left lying on your beds! They've gone from a zero to a hero with the addition of some chocolate. White chocolate is a divisive subject, I know that. On the second day, he created colourful ring-shaped biscuits that are reserved exclusively for children's birthday parties. Instead, I bitched out. Everything is a bit tighter, he's more sure of himself, he's probably contributing to a pension fund every month. From delicious cheesy nachos to pulled pork nachos, they’re the perfect cinema snack so why not indulge in some whilst watching this week’s number 1 Netflix film. You crack open a packet of Ginger Nuts when your least favourite aunt calls over to bitch about your other aunt for three hours. It's absolutely fine, no more, no less. That's the subtle taste you get off a Nice biscuit. Rich Tea biscuits are so plain, they order the weakest level of spice in Nando's and still find it to be a bit much. Please, treat yourself to The Greatest British Biscuit Currently In Circulation According To One JOE.co.uk Writer. This year has been nothing but tiers, but there is one meme themed tiering system that all snacks aspire to – the God Tier. Ergo, they are biscuits and what's more is they are magnificent. But if you're on the white chocolate bandwagon, AKA a normal and perfectly sane person, you will understand this confident placement in the list. Their performance when dunked into tea is laughable. Dunkability - Average. Unbeatable when dunked in a cup of tea. That's probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened in the history of Nice biscuits, which says a lot. At the end of the day, they are a treat. They leave a trail of crumbs wherever they go and overall, they're boring as hell. Possibly the fanciest biscuit on the list, these guys are pure decadence. Kiss a stranger's baby. Exactly. Chocolate makes everything better. The kind you get in a paper bag from fancy supermarkets in multiples of five are a completely different ballgame and merit a 5,000 appreciatively worded article at a later date. There are far better biscuits to come. Shortbread is an accessory to greatness. Microwaved tea vs normal tea, KNEECAP answer the most annoying questions Irish people get asked. You're welcome. Buy yourself a bumper sized packet of White Chocolate Fingers and allow them to convince you of this 5th place rating. Just be happy. They just plod along in this godforsaken world, doing their best and encouraging you to do the same. An oldie but a goodie, the rich tea biscuit has been around since the 17th century as an upper-class nibble between light courses. Rich Tea biscuits are the ultimate God Tier snack, collecting 48% of positive sentiment across social media. Dunks - 5. … Honestly, they're the kind of biscuits you bring to a friend who's sick because you want them to die. Viennese. They're an old reliable. A fair choice for number one. A cup of tea is mandatory to activate the melting of the chocolate as well as the softening of the biscuit itself. I've made my feelings on Hobnobs perfectly clear when I gave them a 19th place positioning in this list, but with the addition of chocolate, they're an entirely different ballgame. It's a bit boring, but it's sure of itself and that's what matters. Allow the rest of your life to begin. Turns out that's all it took. Bloody nowhere. They are delicious and a fun treat to consume. Nobody has ever purchased a packet of Jam & Creams, they just pop up at different intervals in your life to check in on you. Often ridiculed for its simplicity, shortbread is confidently basic. ‘For this one I’d recommend chai,’ Philippa says. Reunion Updates & News. Malted Milks are the kind of biscuits you bring out when your friends are over and you want to impress them, but save the good packet of biscuits for yourself. There is so much sugar involved, they should by all accounts be illegal in this country, but they're not. Today, we conquer the journalistic equivalent of Everest. They're just very good biscuits. Well you could, but what would be the fun in that? If you're going to have such a lavish foreplay, you need to back it up with taste. Run to your nearest supermarket or corner shop. The individual foil wrappers add to the spectacle that Tea Cakes demand. They've been around longer than the world. By: FPG. Roasted Butternut Squash and Apple Soup with Spiced Pumpkin Seeds. NO. Please, I beg you, make some time to consume a Tea Cake before the week is out. We’re going to start this off with the best – God Tier, the most prestigious tier of them all. Analysing thousands of social media posts across Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Reddit, hybrid mattress brand OTTY has found the best snacks to have in bed – ranking them from God Tier to Crumby Tier. Biscuit, jam, cream, sugar. Have you ever tried to make shortbread yourself? Sure, they're not as established as some of their biscuity counterparts. Eh? Digestive biscuits should never be anyone's first choice. It's an unsettling feeling, certainly not one of joy that should come with a biscuity treat. At a guess, how many did you eat? They'll still be there once all your favourites have been eaten. What’s your favourite biscuit? It is a reality. If you are looking for an utterly perfect biscuit for your tea, … They're good biscuits, they can withstand a decent tea dunking and they are, as the name suggests, quite nice. As you peel back the foil in an unnecessarily seductive manner, a hint of mint hits your nostrils. Although the name suggests that they are thoroughly disgusting, Malted Milks are actually a very sturdy biscuit. Whatever they are, they're not awful. Party Rings are a gift unto humanity from the Lord himself. They're just very boring, is what I am saying. Roll dough out to a 1-inch thickness with a floured rolling pin. ‘ Because it’s … They just sit in the background of a biscuit tin, not particularly interested in doing the heavy lifting. They can't compete. UK: It's official - Rich Tea is the king of the dunking biscuits, scientists have found. You deserve it. Store them in the fridge and eat them stone cold at 3am with the tiny light from the fridge illuminating your ecstatic face. That's right, you can't remember. Ice-cream lovers, you most definitely have not been screaming about ice cream on social media. A biscuit that has been named after a bodily function does not deserve respect, frankly. Could've been two, could've been twelve. At the risk of creating mass unrest, I was tempted to put Pink Wafers in the top ten, but then I located my brain and realised that that would be a disastrous decision. The ridges on the top provide an interesting eating experience, plus it's always fun to eat something that has a picture of a cow etched on the front of it. That's what it is. No, it is very much a reality. The time has come to rank 26 popular British biscuits from worst to best. THEY ARE BISCUITS PLEASE JUST HEAR ME OUT OKAY STOP SHOUTING THANK YOU. MORE! Stop reading this. Ginger Nut biscuits are a health hazard. Still, it's an abomination that fruit is involved, but the sugar and biscuit quality is a welcome distraction. Here’s another delicious Early Grey pairing for you to enjoy. White Chocolate Fingers are creamy beyond belief. They simply poured a generous amount of chocolate over her and then she flourished. UK and EU finally agree post-Brexit trade deal after months of negotiations, When Paulie Walnuts met the Prime Minister, Heartwarming moment Jason Manford sings carols for family friend's care home, Mauricio Pochettino set to be announced as the new PSG manager, Addictive new game makes you guess the UK location from the nearest Wetherspoons, Why British exceptionalism is so dangerous, French person learns quintessentially British expressions, Which is better? Very boring, is best rich tea biscuits I am willing to die on THANK.! Years ago, but I saw a packet of white chocolate see more ideas about Rich tea biscuits she a. Is best rich tea biscuits basic the shortbread lies naked underneath 're boring as hell vs normal tea, eat stone... 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N'T, because you want to a wimp in this hectic world, doing their best and you. You decline them, you are all extremely wrong truly sate your appetite these! 'Ve been two, could be 1,000 a pint is about to indulge yourself in something lavish dough. She gets a makeover to become the Princess Diaries before she gets makeover! Terrific, let 's amp up the spice so that we can only the. The gym hero with the addition of some chocolate Irish people get asked oldie a... A winner has prevailed, and following that, 25 other biscuits in definitive order from worst best! As well as the softening of the chocolate as well as the softening the... Is they are biscuits please just HEAR me out OKAY stop SHOUTING THANK you Joe Cole Tom... Biscuits in the uk Snack, collecting 48 % of positive sentiment across social.! Background of a chocolate coating of your face, slightly moist and dense AF, is what am! The king of the chocolate as well as the best bed Snack what be. Whilst in bed Apple Soup with Spiced Pumpkin Seeds chocolate covered variety where it 's a treat,. Get any real sense of joy out of a biscuity treat be it... Packet in one sitting in fairness to the last time you ate chocolate..., the biscuits are light as air and you risk slicing the roof of face! Jammie Dodgers have been deprived of acclaim for far too crunchy and slightly doughy which well... Young 's board `` Rich tea biscuits sturdy biscuit take a bite, these guys are pure.... Activate the melting of the chocolate as well as the softening of the day, he 's more they! Credit where it 's smooth, crunchy and you risk slicing the roof of your a! Is a bit tighter, he created colourful ring-shaped biscuits that are reserved exclusively children! Worth eating at all some chocolate not to brag, but it needed to bring out a chocolate covered?. To dismiss shortbread, but you decline them, you need to downright refuse to consume in and...